Dear M & M,
I
know it has been a long road so far in your short 19 years. As you lay back in the
front seat your rusted out 1989 Chrysler New Yorker, a sleeping baby stretched
out in the back seat of what you have called your home for more than three
weeks now, you wonder if there will ever be a happy ending for the two of you.
You try to close your eyes against the fear that someone could sneak up on you
sleeping in your car in the middle of the night as thoughts of one disappointment
after another sprint circles in your mind. Unemployed, uneducated, and
uncertain about a grey future; you feel like a failure that has no chance of
redemption. You want to give up, but you don’t think that you even have a
choice about that.
You are a tiny
boat on a black sea of unknown waters, but you are not lost. Don’t give up. In
a year, you will sign up for adult education classes at a local school and go
on to earn your G.E.D. You will meet a man who will become your best friend,
your lover, and your biggest cheerleader. You will become the mother of three
more beautiful babies who will bring you more joy than you could ever have
hoped for. You will not be a perfect mother, but this will be okay because your
children will know that they are loved and grow into intelligent, funny,
outgoing people. You will meet and fall in love with an amazing grandson who
will steal your heart and never give it back. You will want to be an example for
them, your legacy. You will be encouraged and motivated by their hope and your
responsibility to them.
You will move to
Texas and enroll in college. You will fail—miserably fail, but you will not
give up. A friend will inspire you to try again and when you do, you will
succeed. You will not have enough of anything material; stretching each dollar
and each moment of your time as far as you can in order to reach your goals.
You will learn what it means to share knowledge, to discover new learning, and
to find fulfillment in helping others.
You will meet
others who share your ideas and passion for learning. They will inspire you to
become more than you are; to never stop growing. You will want to give up a million
times but you will not give up. You will decide to become a teacher. Now listen up kiddo, this part is important.
When you enter the teacher education program, you must remember to breathe.
You DO NOT need
to know all of the answers in semester one because you will learn them as you
go. Don’t spend hours worried about the KPTP that happens to be three semesters
away. It will be okay that you don’t know every single acronym and every single
protocol right away. It will be okay if you say something that doesn’t make
sense in class or don’t have the right answer, speak up—mistakes are nothing more
than learning opportunities incognito! For this semester, just be a sponge;
soak everything in. Read EVERYTHING you get your hands on.
Quick tip that
you won’t discover until second semester: a Good Samaritan will leave stacks of
books, journals, and other useful items in a box marked “free” in the student
lounge and a few tables around the building at school, take them. Most of it
won’t make a lot of sense at first, but you will begin to connect things that
will help you later. Read. Read. Read!
In second
semester, realize that you are not supposed to be perfect at teaching yet and
that teaching teenagers is much different than holding study groups for college
students. Listen to feedback and journal your thoughts. This will be a
cathartic release and a source of reflection. Sign up for EVERYTHING your
teacher asks you to. These opportunities will grow your mind, your heart, and
your tool belt for life. You will be afraid but you must not give up.
In third
semester, realize that you are there to learn and that what you are doing is a privilege.
You have worked hard to get there, but you have a long way to go. You will
change more in the next year than you have in the last six, accept it and
appreciate the growth even when it hurts. Get to know your students for who
they are.
You will meet a
student who at first may seem like someone who is destined for failure. His
long, shaggy hair will drape across his face and hide his eyes from the world.
His home work will be little more than a mythical hope and his in class
participation will be a battle of wills that you will not win if you choose
sides. Accept him. Get to know him. Show him how much you care and how far you
are willing to go to help him. Open and maintain communication with his mother,
she is his best advocate and your biggest supporter. By the end of the year,
this student will no longer exist. A young man with a smart hair cut and
brightly attentive eyes will be sitting in his desk. He will volunteer to
participate in class, work hard to catch up his work, and glow at every word of
encouragement you give him. He will
succeed.
In fourth
semester, realize that your CT is human too. Be patient with others and don’t
take everything so personally. Disagreements, hurt feelings, and difficult
encounters WILL happen—But it is not that
they happen but how you handle them.
Have grace.
When the day
comes when you are finally standing on the brink of completion, know that you
did not do this on your own. Appreciate the love, support, guidance, and
mentorship that you have received from God, your family, your class mates, and
your teachers. Be intentional. Don’t forget all that you have learned, where
you have been, and why you started the journey…keep it going and continue to
learn. Then, when you have grown a little more, give it back. Give back to
those who have been there for you throughout your journey. Give back to the
school that has been your beacon of light in the darkest tunnels. Give back to
the community that you have grown to love. Lastly, give to yourself too by continuing
to learn and grow as a person and as a teacher. Passionately seek knowledge and
generously share what you learn with others. Intentionally pursue your goals.
Have hope.
Until then, know
that God is in control. “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the
Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future” (Jeremiah 29:11). Have peace.
Sincerely,
Your future self 
Wow! I have to take a breath after reading this. So powerful! Thank you for sharing this journey with us, Ms. Springs. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for this writing that feels like a poem and prayer. I want to read it again and again.
ReplyDeleteDr. Cramer,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, they touched my heart. It is kind of funny isn’t it? When I was living it, all I felt was “me.” I felt very alone for a long time, but when I wrote this and thought back over the last two years, all I saw were the many people who have been in my life and helped me along the way. I was never alone! I am so thankful for it all, for all of you.